Zombie WarZ

The Bringer of Shine has arrived as of Saturday the 23rd! However, I am considering changing his name....

Stephen, my little sister's boyfriend, and an all around wonderful person was dubbed "The Bringer of Shine" by witnesses. Witness of what, you ask?

Mario Sunshine...

Dude, can that kid - 20 year old kid, but still kid to me - bring in the shineZ (stars in every other mario rendition)! Its amaZing and unnerving all at once... no one should be that good at platformers o_O

Anyway, he arrives saturday and what does he bring? Two days of shyte weather and a lot of friggen snow. Bringer of Shine, my ass.

We played around Charleston a bit and of course made the obligatory stop at Books a Million - better known as my second home. I bought the book "Me Talk Pretty One Day" by David Sedaris.

Go out and get it... now... immediatly! Any fan of Bill Byrson (please don't embarrass yourself by claiming not to be) will be totally in love with Sedaris.

His writing style is uber witty sarcasm a la Bryson, although more gutter trash. It is a compilation of happenings throughout Sedaris' life, and he manages to turn mundan visits to the Speech Therapist into a analysis of gay men and their lisping beginings.

Good stuff, I say... go read :p

Of course we stopped in HT and of course I bought a shirt. It has Umbrealla Coproration written across the chest with the logo following.

Im not sure why I love RE so much... I cant play the games... they are freaking scary and I suck at the controlls. Meh, the real reason is I have the patience of a bit of lychen gathered on a stump... and the load screens for each room are rediculous. Granted the newer games are better, but holy shyte o_O. It still amaZeZ me that the game manage to be scary with a four hour loading screen. That is the mark of greatness, when you can still make ppl piss themselves after giving them 30 minZ to prepare for what's on the other side of the door.

I love the 1st movie... granted it had nothing to do with the RE games as far as "Alice" went. But, dude, it was just freaking wonderful and it had Milla Jovovitch in it! The second one made me want to cry a little... the end fight sceen with Nemisis? : / Ugh. They need to fire (and I mean litterally torch) the guy who budgeted the funds for the movie.

Zombie movies. Seriously... greatest genre ever. Dawn of the Dead is my fav, I think... haven't seen the old one in 4ever, so I speak of the new version. I really cant think of anyone who hasnt been doing something really boring - school, business meeting, sex with a particularly mormon spouse - and just suddenly thought to themselves:

"I wonder if I would make it in a Zombie apocolypse?"

I would. Hell yes, I would.

Whenever I go with my daddy to the gun range... I envision shooting Zombies. And not those pansy "Ahhhrrrrrrrrr, half my leg is missing, but Im still gonna drag it after you so I can feast upon your brrrraaaaaaiiiiiin" Zombies. I mean the dead pan, full out run, "Come'er motha flunker so I can rip out your insides and suck on the tubing!" Zombies.

We have an arsonal at home... in fact if the house ever caught fire... it would take out four city blocks.

I wouldnt stay at my house tho... too many windows for angry, hungry Zombies to burst through. Im thinking I would take all four vehicles - assuming the other 3 members of my family made it in the inital blast/virus outbreak that started the Zombie plauge - and load them down with guns, ammo, and a few other non infected and drive to the armory here. With a few stops for crashing the cars into little general stores and loading up on food and water.

And none of that, "Eh, you only have a little scratch from the ZombieZ, and you are my friend so you can still come with me" crap. If a Zombie even looks at you, Im leaven your ass. Friend or not.

Also, if you havent seen "Shawn of the Dead" then you are destined to be alone and should commence suicide immediatly. Seriously, though, the movie is maddeningly hilarious.

As an avid Zombie fan, I initially thought it blasphemous for them to make Shawn of the Dead. But... after being assured it was safe to watch w/o burning in Zombie hell... I gave in. It is scary... and funny... and so disgustingly gorey. And the fact that all the characters were british made it all the more brilliant.

Sometimes in Zombie movies the heroine/hero is abnormally gorgeous, well allotted in life, and all in all not your average Joe. Shawn is about as average as any middle aged, going no where, dead end job, semi serious gf having man can be. And the fact that he was somewhat lacking in mental capacity helped usher in the "regular guy" so much better.

Moral? Load up on your water in case of Zombie attack, never trust your friends to bring you good weather, and buy as much Hello Kitty as you can.

Also... youll just have to get over the spelling errors... unless youd like to be my editor... I really need one.