The Penguin Legion

Personal Info is PERSONAL

2011-02-05T00:36:00.002-05:00

Ok, am I the only one that is mega annoyed with lame ass checkout people asking for my phone number, my email, and my address while ringing me out... like they NEED the info in order to make the transaction?

They NEED it to sell it to a 3rd party marketing company that will then tailor their fucking ads to your personal taste... and they have your EMAIL and your home ADDRESS in which to send their detailed advertisements to. BULLSHYTE.

No, little pimple faced anorexia sufferer... you may NOT have my phone number, my bra siZe, or my email address... you MAY, however, fuck the hell RIGHT off and give me my mother FUCKING purse without looking so DAMN put out that I told you "no".

New York & Co may now suck my left toe. Fucking asshats.

The End ^_^

The Dead Boy

2010-11-04T23:56:00.000-04:00

Once upon a time there was a little girl who never smiled.

The unsmiling girl loved a little boy.

The girl had no cause to love the boy; he was mean and cruel and full of little boy spite.

One day the little girl buried the little boy alive... and smiled.

The Idiot Population

2010-02-23T01:17:00.002-05:00

I am just about totally sick of morons. They seem to pop up everywhere -- especially the places where morons should not be residing.

I recently sent an email to an adviser (someone students greatly rely on to graduate). In this email I gave my name (full) and I signed off with my name (what I prefer to be addressed as). This email also contained TWO questions that were (and still are) very important.

Now, when I saw how quickly she replied to said email I was ecstatic. The school I am attending has a less than stellar track record with their shoddy advising teams. When I opened the email and realized that she not only addressed me as "Kat", but did not answer either of my questions... I was slightly put out.

I mean, is it too much to expect that supposedly competent people are... competent? Is it too much to think that my simple questions will be answered? That people will turn in assignments on time? That people I pay will do what I am paying them to do?

If I pay someone 500$ to lick my damn Jeep tire -- and they accept the money -- they had damned better lick my Jeep tire.

I honestly think there are about 10 trustworthy, reliable, NON morons left on the planet.

So... which one are you?

I have to pee

2010-02-10T02:12:00.003-05:00

So, I kinda have a thing with piercings. I like them and I have issues with not getting them. I have too many holes in my ears as it is (I am trying to keep it a bit classy instead of looking like an earring tree).

I got my tummy pierced with I was 18 (omg, 7 years ago ;_;) and then have taken my angst out on my ears since then. I can't pierce my face lest my family disown me, so I get my ears pierced and then let the holes grow up... how insane is that!?

I had actually kind of curbed my addiction for a while... until I saw the COOLEST cartilage earring EVER! I mean, seriously... I must have! But, I have all my piercings lined up in a row of three on the left and two in the lower right... basically... I'd have to get another piercing to wear this.

Someone talk me out of putting another hole in my body >_<

I guess I could always go with my nipples, but it makes me nervous :p

Should be doing HW

2010-02-08T22:59:00.002-05:00

I was watching the news today (shocking, I know) and something very unexpected reared it's ugly head and gave me indigestion. Political Correctness.

PUKE.

The announcer started prattling blithely about how the adverts for the Super Bowl were thought to be sexist against women. Seriously?

I am a woman... and it never even occurred to me to be insulted by the hilarious commercials that were played during the bowl. Now, some nutters might say this is due to my socialization by the male sexist pig into thinking that I belong barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.

HAH.

I am the least girly, girl on the planet (save for my makeup obsession). I refuse to watch movies unless they blow up, I will claw your eyes out if you say you can beat me at anything, and I am a wreck in the kitchen. So, if I am not offended by something... then it isn't offensive. It is is a bloody stretch.

People need to get the hell over it. There is always going to be a bit of gender definition in our culture... we are slowly growing out of it, but pointing it our and nagging people over it at every impass isn't helping anyone's cause.

WHO DAT

2010-02-07T22:52:00.000-05:00

I have to say... to all of my friends that told me my team (SAINTS) was going to lose:

WHO EFFING DAT, BITCHES!

That was an amazing game. I am pleased.

Underrated Actors

2010-02-06T21:34:00.003-05:00

This is totally random, but Heartbreakers is on and it made me ponder.

I have always thought Jennifer Love Hewitt was seriously gorgeous... and damn it, a very good actress! She was good in I Know What You Did, and her series Ghost Whisperer isn't half bad either. I think she just gets cast in CRAP movies. Maybe this says something to her choice in what a good movie is, but not necessarily to her ability to act.

Anyone that can act with Sigourney Weaver has to be pretty decent, right?

Speaking of, Sigourney... she is amazing as well! She was chased by aliens (in 79 and 2009), Ghosts, and pissed men who wanted their money back.

List of underrated actors from you guys?

No RegretZ

2010-02-05T23:33:00.002-05:00

I found a notebook that I had started writing in in 2001. The notebook itself is COVERED in stickers of all sizes, types, and colors. Basically, it looks like a Kindergartner's. It is wicked.

It is composed of notes I was writing to a friend... and if I had a dollar for every time I said "OMG" in the thing I would be VERY wealthy.

It also made me realize that I have done NOTHING in the last decade that I had planned to do in 2001. This.... is a little more than depressing.

I don't have my pilot's license... I never went abroad for school... I never made my black belt in Shotokan.

So, my goal this summer is to finish up my Private Pilot's License before I am 28. This doesn't account for ten lost years of accomplishing nothing, however, it is a baby step.

What have you guys NOT done in the last decade that you've always wanted to do?

I miss you

2010-02-04T23:04:00.002-05:00

I had this friend back in 2000 that was quite possibly the coolest person on the planet. He was tall, had an accent, gorgeous, and was seriously rather hilarious. He might have even been smart. How in love was I?

As it turns out, I am a HORRIBLE person, and I end up giving Mr. Gorgeous the cold shoulder for another guy (let's call him Mr. D - as in dick head).

Again... this makes me a douche.

Mr. D ends up being the jealous psycho type and logs into my IM clients one day to tell everyone on my friends list some truly cruel things. Apparently, Mr. Gorgeous was one of those people, however I still do not know what was said.

A few of my wiser friends noticed this was a tad out of character for me... and gave me a buzz.

So, here I am 10 years later with no Mr. Gorgeous... and no idea what Mr. Gorgeous is doing -- or if he is even still alive for that matter. He stopped taking my calls years ago, and that was basically the only way for me to reach him.

For some reason I thought about him last night.

You really don't have a damn clue what you have until you do something moronic that makes it all go away.

Dragon*Con

2010-02-02T02:55:00.002-05:00

Well, Stephen and I have been talking about going to a Con since the inception of Horseshoes and Hand Grenades... and we have finally sucked it up, dropped our 70$ and decided to go to Dragon*Con! :D

Commander Riker and Diana Tro i from Star Trek TNG, Spike from Buffy, and even stars from those horrible Twilight movies will be there. Also, one of my favorite authors will be there: Laurel K. Hamilton.

I am STOKED. Our HnH crewman Matt might be coming along as well (we need a camera boy!). We didn't get one of the four main hotels (can you believe they were already booked?), however, we did get a nicer hotel (more expensive, though).

I must admit to a bit of trepidation when I think of humping about in the big ATL, but I don't see a cause to leave the Con site save to go home and shower :p

So, the question is... are you guys going to come and party with HnH? :D

UoP = University of SUCK

2010-01-31T21:30:00.002-05:00

Ok, so call me an IDIOT (don't, I will eat your eyes out), but I decided that online university would be excellent for me. I was all "Like, omg, it will be easy and I can do my classes from anywhere! Yay! So when I move to FL and marry a rich Australian doctor, I can plan my wedding to Japan and take classes for my Masters!"

Yeah. I am a douche.

Not only are online classes FIVE times harder than a normal class (I have NEVER had so much in depth homework ever), but we have to split into teams.

Yes, teams. A group of adults all being forced to do papers together. I liken this to learning to share in K-4.

Let me tell you something... let me TELL you SOMETHING... If you did not learn to work with others in Kindergarten: YOU WILL NOT BLOODY LEARN TO DO IT IN YOUR 50'S!!!!

These people all have families, full time jobs, yadda yadda. They do NOT want to listen to a 20 something year old correct their grammar. WHAT A CROCK OF SHYTE.

This is simply so the "teachers" do not have to grade 20 papers every week.

Currently, my team is being a collective pile of douche.

So.... thoughts on working together on the online world for the ease of the teachers and the stress of the students?

X(

p90x, concussions, and ZombieZ

2010-01-31T17:48:00.003-05:00

I am not sure why I stopped writing on this, but I feel as if I should write again! Mostly because I am bored out of my SKULL. Speaking of skulls; I had a concussion a couple of weeks ago. Did you know that? Yeah, apparently skiing is dangerous for your health. My poor brain.

I started the p90x program last Monday... and it has made me very hyper and restless. I cannot just sit around and be content anymore. Let me tell you how much this sucks.

The work outs are TOUGH, but so much fun. Tony Horton owns my soul... well him and Blizzard.

I am sore all the time, hungry all the time, and sitting still makes me insane. Did Tony ever think that I may WANT to enjoy sitting still? I am a gamer, a net addict, and an avid reader... sitting still is my drug of choice.

Now, while I read Plague of the Dead (part of the morningstar saga) I want to get up and run in circles. I mean, I've always wished ZombieZ would attack, but now I wish the book was real so I could MOVE.

I want to play Resident Evil 5, but I am a chicken and no one I know will play with me... I wanna ski, but I have no one to go with (and my parents are leary of another concussion), I want to swim but... you know... snowing and all.

Gah. Someone cause an outbreak so I can DO something already!

Horseshoes and Hand Grenades!

2007-12-01T23:28:00.000-05:00

Horseshoes and Hand Grenades the podcast started with a question: "Would you like to do some sort of podcast? It would be cool."

Stephen Adams' immortal words have been holding true since April 10, 2007. Indeed, H&H is cool.

H&H is dedicated to scouring the net for random, horrifying, gross, and hilarious news to entertain our wicked awesome listeners. From a group of five people (mostly our friends that we tired to chairs), H&H fans have grown to over one hundred in less than a year! Stephen and Ashley are fiercely proud of their loyal band of H&H fans and they strive to bring them only the best in listening goodness!

So, join the group of hearty men and women (and a few penguins) and tune in every Friday @ our site.

Explicative Deleted

2006-10-12T20:52:00.000-04:00

Ok, so what is the point in teaching a class -- nay, in being a teacher at all -- if you don't listen to your students?

If you ask a question and then go on to answer your own question for the sheer joy of hearing your melodious voice that no doubt leaves your students with a pleasant and sated feeling… why are you even asking the question?

And if one such student attempts to answer said question and you proceed to bowl them over with your own verbal splatterings while staring the poor creature down… should you not wrap up your diatribe and then inquire as to what the curious student was asking about?

I hate my thruZday eve class -__-

Glocks and Cops

2006-04-14T03:50:00.000-04:00

Omg. Omg. Omg. My heart just exploded from my chest.

Its 3am and I'm sitting on my futon writing an email to someone when some jackass comes and BANGS on the apartment door. No doubt one of the pismire meat head jocks that always get too drunk to find their way back to their women around here.

I set my laptop down and walk over to the peephole expecting to see a swaying moron holding his penis and a can of beer. Instead I see a lot of pink.

Okaaayyy? So some dipshyte holding up a pamphlet for a party that I should be at?

Meh, I figured I would let the drunken moron realize he had the wrong house and he would go on his merry way.

No such luck. The idiot BANGS on the door again. This pisses me off greatly. Not only is it 3am, but my sister is asleep and I'm having my writing zone interrupted by some pothead who doesn’t know how to count apartment numbers.

That and the banging sounded very aggressive. And since aggressive behavior tends to make me even more aggressive than I already am... I went for my Glock.

I grabbed my baby, marched to the front door and checked the peep again. Still covered. Whatever, Id show this asshole that I wasn’t some little sorostitute and I didn’t appreciate being disturbed this early in the morning.

I flipped both the locks on the door with my left hand (My right still clasped around my Glock) and stood back enough that I could get a view of the upper landing and whatever cheap beer drinking dorkus might inhabit it. In order not to be violating my Right to carry arms I kept my gun out of site behind the door lest Beer Boy think I was brandishing it and piss himself all over my doorstep.

Well, the meat head turned out to be three guys.

All dressed in uniforms.

POLICE OFFICERS.

I stood there for the proverbial second that seemed like hours and assessed the situation. I was standing half naked in an open door way facing three cops. One of them had a Maglite the size of my thy held up over his head (my apartment was pitch black). I had a loaded (but not chambered) Glock hidden behind the door. I was frakked.

One officer acted like he was going to push the door farther open and step inside so my self preservation kicked in and I spout: “I have a gun!” Not in a menacing way, but in a tone that indicated complete and total disbelief.

The three officers glance at each other and then back at the girl in glasses and the United Way Staff shirt and the tall one says: “Well, just put it down on the floor and step back.”

No shyte, I thought. The Glock felt like it weighed 100LBS and was on fire. I bent down and set it on the orange entry carpet and stepped back into my kitchen. I wrapped my arms around myself to stop from shaking.

The three Officers came in and started looking around. The black one with his massive Maglite. The short, heavier one finds the lights and flicks them on. I stupidly thought that I should have done the dishes.

“May I ask what this is about?” I asked. Mom would be proud. Even during chaos I was polite.

“We got a call for a Domestic [Disturbance] for this address.”

I look around my apartment and see the game cube strewn across the floor from where I was playing Mario Sunshine and my laptop sitting beside it playing MC Chris’s “Geek” softly. I glance back up at the black cop. It registered in the back of my head somewhere that he looked really kind. He smiled.

“This is apt 34*?”

I nodded and looked around again. The heavier cop had picked my Glock up off the floor and popped the magazine out and cocked and locked the slide back and set it all on the kitchen table and was looking it over.

I took the time to be proud that I had hollow points in the mag and had cleaned my gun since the last time I shot it.

Tall Cop realizes that they might have the wrong address and radios in to confirm while Heavy Cop walks back further into the apartment.

Black Cop: “Anyone here with you.”

“Just my Baby Sister. You can go back and check on her, but you’ll scare the crap out of her.”

He chuckles.

Tall Cop comes back. I could hear the call he made over the radio through Heavy Cop’s radio at his waist. It was defiantly apartment 34.”* But they realize something isn’t right.

Tall Cop: “Well, she doesn’t look beat up.” They all laugh.

I spurt out that I took karate. Pointless. Hadn’t I just answered the door with a loaded weapon?

“Is there any other apartment 34’s* around here?” one of them asks.

I pondered for a min. I kind of felt like I was brainstorming with them and I liked it. “Across the way, maybe. I think they are all labeled the same save for the actual building number.”

They take one last sweep. Black Cop bends over and checks out my Glock.

“40?” he inquired. (Referring to the caliber.)

“Nah, 9 mill. Daddy got it for me for Christmas. We go shooting a lot.”

They all laugh and I want to bust out doughnuts and bad coffee and sit around shooting cop shyte. So, that Vic from last night was suspicious. What about the Perp? Total scumbag! Too bad we never fingered that UNSUB in the White Case.

Before I was done daydreaming they had nodded and smiled and closed the front door. I stood there for a beat and ran to see if Steph was ok.

Whores with Parking Issues

2006-04-13T22:28:00.000-04:00

Ok, everyone knows I have anger issues. I’ll be the first to admit it. But, damn it… yesterday I was down right homicidal. Hack someone open and plant daisies in their chest homicidal.

I live in college apartments (and will until hell freezes over unless I get a worthwhile degree soon) that come with their fair amount of idiots. But I dwell above two of the biggest crack whoring fucktards on the planet. And no, this isn’t my jealous opinion because I think they are prettier than I am… they are honestly fucktards. No social skills outside of blowing their abusive (and apparently shared) boyfriend and bugging their dealer for cocaine. No common courtesy at all. This includes playing their music loud enough to shake the frame of my bed at 4am in the morning, and parking on TOP of my Jeep.

I love my Jeep. I've named my Jeep… I frakking talk to my Jeep on a regular basis. Outside of my sister, my Jeep is about the only thing I give a damn about in this town. So one can imagine my concern when I noticed tiny dings on his passenger door and missing paint flecks.

To further explain my anger I must get across a simple point. One of property. The foundation our country was built on. The right to own property… and not have it shyte upon by the brainless piles of genetic abortions that I live above.

It’s not that they are angry with me in some manner. It is simply that the concept of maneuvering a two ton piece of metal in BETWEEN two blinding yellow lines eludes them. They apparently were held back in kindergarten for not being able to color within the lines and it is catching up with them in their “adult” life.

Now, not everyone is going to be able to park perfectly between the lines the first time every time. However, if one is pulling in between two other vehicles on either side, then there is the expectation of the Adjustment. This is where one backs up and pulls in straighter. I've timed it… it takes exactly 15 seconds to do.

I'm assuming the crack whores are really jonesing by the time they get home so the 15 seconds is precious time they cannot afford to waste. Because they don’t. They simply leave their tore up silver POS car parked over the yellow lines and hit my passenger side door every time they open their driver’s side door to get out. I have to back OUT of my space to let Steph into my passenger side to avoid hitting their car….

Anyway, as it happens they did this for the 10943th time yesterday… and I was grumpy yesterday. Steph pointed it out to me from our upstairs window that the silver car was again parked too close, so I decided I would just simply move my Jeep. No big deal.

As I walked down the steps and came closer to my Jeep and the silver monstrosity parked to its left I slowed my steps and finally came to a stop… and stared. It couldn’t be. There was no possible way. Was there? Did this genetically inferior, coke addicted, back woods, trailer trash moron really park like THAT and not Adjust?

I walked up to my passenger side and glanced at my side mirror… I couldn’t fit my pinky between her’s and mine. I snapped. My heart rate shot up and I ceased to be able to hear anything save for the blood rushing through my veins.

I went and pounded on their door and stood to the side lest they see a raging psycho and not open. When the tiny mouse did answer the door I grinned and pointed to her car:

“Is that silver car with the NY plates yours?”

She piped up and smiled (no missing teeth, I noticed… I guess she hasn’t been addicted as long as I had thought), “Yeah! It is!”

“Ahh,” I nodded and tried to breathe and stop my hands from shaking. “Well, would you mind not parking so damn close to my jeep every time? You are dinging my door and it’s starting to irritate me.”

Mouse girls face fell a little and she stepped in behind her door. “Oh well, I made sure not to hit your door when I got out.”

Mhmm, I thought. Bullshyte. I called her bluff. “Well, I've seen you hit my door on several occasions.” At this time the heavier roommate came peeking above her friends head. She glanced at me nervously and stepped back into the apartment and out of my vision.

Mousie decides she is no longer happy, or afraid… but righteously enraged! “Well, why don’t you tell whoever owns that yellow piece of crap to park straight and I wont have to park like that!”

As she pointed to Jerika’s nice yellow car (she lives across from me on the top floor) my mouth fell a little in disbelief. Not only is Jerika parked halfway decently, but there are approximately 700,000 other parking spaces in the lot that are empty…

“Well, sweetheart,” I cooed, “What is your excuse when the parking lot is empty? It’s two yellow lines… you park BETWEEN them. Not on top. It really isn’t that hard of a concept to grasp, ya know?”

It all gets a little fuzzy after this point. I think she mumbled something about going now and retreated back into her little whore house.

Now, am I wrong to expect a certain level of competence in my fellow man? It is too much to expect someone not to repeatedly hit my Jeep? I mean, if this is a ridiculously high level of expectation I think someone should tell me. Because the next time someone hits my Jeep out of pure stupidity I am going to burry them alive under my bedroom window and let their screams lull me off into dream land.

SoybeanZ Own You

2006-03-01T20:28:00.000-05:00

Kids build the darndest cars

The buzz at the the recent Philadelphia Auto Show focused on a car that can go from zero to 60 in four seconds and get more than 50 miles to the gallon, running on soybean biodiesel fuel.

The innovative design didn't come from any car company--it came from five students at West Philadelphia High School, who built it as an after-school project.

According to a report on CBSNews.com, the project not only produced a car, it helped turn struggling kids earning C's and D's into straight-A students.

"If you give kids that have been stereotyped as not being able to do anything an opportunity to do something great, they'll step up," teacher Simon Hauger told CBS.

http://news.com.com/2061-11199_3-6044541.html

-It's amaZing what ppl can come up with if inspired in the least bit. Space Station here I come!

Life SuX

2006-02-07T14:26:00.001-05:00

So, barring religion, what are people here for anyway? Seriously, think about it. Is life really worth it in the long run? No one really remembers their first five years and it wouldn’t be worthwhile if we did. Who wants to recall running around in diapers and shytting yourself?

Ok, so the first bit of your childhood is a waste. Too much to learn and adapt to call it a life.

Let’s say 5-10 isn’t much better. You start school. Your first taste of being socialized by a morally bankrupt system. You learn to count and some of us learn to read. This is also the stage where you find out that the opposite sex sucks ass and you shouldn’t ever touch them for any reason. Later in this time period you start developing (or the lack of developing) social skills. This determines whether or not you will be a weird ass loser in high school. That’s right… THIS stage of your life will set you up for failure. Therefore it sucks too.

So, 11-15. Geez. This age span might be a tad better for some of us. We make some new friends that don’t just love us for our play dough and crayons. However, if you aren’t super mega cool from day to day in this stage then you get ditched (we haven’t learned loyalty yet) and it screws us up for life. Your best friend of a year suddenly meets more popular people and you are swept away with the garbage. Wow, how exciting. Also, we suddenly start to find the opposite sex really fracking appealing during this period. Which adds a whole new layer of suckdom to life. Who the fck wants to spend hours pining away over whether or not Johnny is going to call? Or if Stacy really winked at you? Your brain begins to shut down right around here too… school starts to get harder and the common sense that you never developed begins to fail you. This is probably the shyttiest stage for anyone around us that is in an older stage.

Next we enter the 16-21 stage… the ultimate fck up stage. The drugs, sex, and alcohol (or again, lack thereof) stage. You either totally ruin this whole span of your life with drugs, pining over the opposite sex, and booze… or you cannot get the opposite sex, drugs, and booze. Either way, you are a loser. You’ve either totally shunted your brain and wasted your time on thinking of sex, or you were mistreated because you didn’t dedicate yourself to high school entertainments and you studied. Again, either way… you are fucked. You’ve now become a druggie loser with less than 4 brain cells or an antisocial nerd that actually learned to think for yourself (you guys will have better end results… but getting their slightly ruined your life).

So now enter the real world. The world of jobs and politics (mostly ignored by the United States and its education system). Money starts to mean something and your social life (considering you had one) begins to flounder. Here the nerds have an advantage because the never developed a social circle… this is why they succeed. There is no transition period. They never had a social life; therefore they don’t waste precious time adapting. They go on to become Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. If you have a family this is the point where you start ignoring them to work overtime… to provide for them--even though you are beginning to ruin another generation of children by ignoring them.

The next years of your life fly by with nary a reward in site. You got promoted (or fired if you never gave up the pot), big deal? What’s it matter in the grand scheme of things? Did you ever see the pyramids? The Grand Canyon? The Great Wall?

Did you ever do anything that had any meaning? Did you invent something, save someone, help a stranger, dedicate your life to something bigger than yourself? Did it ever occur to you that you could? Or were you too wrapped up in yourself and your struggles to branch out?

If you suddenly found yourself in a doomed situation and began to look back on your life would it make proud? Or would you have nothing worthwhile to remember?

Doctor Suicide

2006-01-17T00:19:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I went to the dermatologist to have a “biopsy” about… meh, six or so months ago. One of my nifty little vampyre bite moles on my chest was disappearing and (considering genetics) it caused me no small amount of worry.

When they were ready for me (apparently after seeing how long I could wait without breaking down into tears of boredom) they ushered me into this yellow looking room and told me to undress my top half and put on a paper towel-esque garment.

So I lay down on the table that I know they took straight out of the Silent Hill hospital and the nurse started to numb me… on the wrong mole. Why I didn’t run screaming out of the offices and hide under my bed for a week is beyond me.

After clearing up what part of my body to numb, in comes

Dr. ImTooRushedToSpendVeryLongWithYou... ButYouShouldBeThankfulForEveryMomentYouHaveWithMe...
ForIAmWOnderfull.

I was reclining during the procedure so I couldn’t see what was going on, but from my sister’s account Dr. TooRushed took out a cookie cutter like object and started wheedling it down into my chest. I could feel the pressure from the tunneling as she did this. Obviously she took out WAY too much tissue.

After totally REMOVING my mole (Hey, I thought I was in here for a small biopsy?!) and half of my underlying muscle layer, she began stitching me up. Good thing I was numbed, right?

They didn’t even do that correctly. Out of five stitches total, I felt all the outside stitches (just three, but that still is not pleasant). She even bungled one of them, went “oops” and ripped it out to start again.

But, whatever. That isn’t my problem. My issue with Dr. DoNothing is that she made a circle in my chest… and tried to stitch that up. You can NOT make a neat closure out of a circle… simple geometry.

After brutally closing me she handed me a brown paper bag and mumbled something about ointment and ran from the room like I hadn’t brushed my teeth in a month.

Needless to say I have an icky pink scar on my chest where my pair of cute vamppy bite moles used to reside. It even had eyelashes where she allowed the stitches to grow into the skin (she waited 13 days to check up on me again).

I get to go see her wed morning (with my enraged father -- he happens to be a medical doctor -- and very fiery mother). I almost feel sorry for Dr. Wench.

Almost.

HitlerZ MinionZ

2006-01-15T14:26:00.000-05:00

Ok, here is the question that has been nagging me for the last year:
If writers are meant to be such awesome creative beings then why is the publishing process/industry such a Nazi institution?

For those of you who really have no clue what I am babbling about, here are a few examples:

http://www.speculations.com/format.htm The writer’s manuscript (MS) must -- and I seriously mean MUST -- be formatted exactly as this link shows. It must have the same font, same spacing, same underlining and dividing techniques.
http://www.speculations.com/slush.htm If said writer’s MS is not, indeed, picture perfect then this link shows how your Magnus Opus, your hearts pouring, your piece of art that you have spent months if not years working on, will end up… in the recycle bin.

Everything I've read says these miserly guidelines are to make the editor’s job an easier one. The font and the double spacing are there to protect the editor’s eyesight, adding the universal # to signal the end of chapter is there because… well I've no clue. To top it off, the writer must have the word “end” at the finish line of his MS… or if they are feeling particularly inspired they can even get away with “####” but defiantly no more than the four #’s.

I can understand that text that will be italicized must be underlined in the MS because italics are easy to overlook, however, when an editor busts out a ruler to check that my margins aren’t an mm off? What is that exactly? Ill tell you what that is… it is a kickback from Hitler’s rule.

In an industry that requires the writer to be more imaginative, artistic, and original than those that came before him, how are these rigid rules helping to maintain that creativity? How can they expect such resourceful beings to accept such stifling rules so easily? (I'm not going to answer that, I'm just posing another question that has been scratching away at me.)

-end-

Sony's Suicide

2005-11-09T19:34:00.000-05:00

Ok, more from the Sony front.

Let me first say this: If Sony is wanting to commit suicide they are def on the right path. In fact, Id say they already have the wakizashi plunged into their collective stomach's.

1st rootkits, then the ridiculous EULA, and now they want to stop the trade on used games?

http://techdirt.com/articles/20051109/1453248_F.shtml

http://www.theinquirer.net/?article=27568

So now, not only have they made it passing easy for malware and hackers to remain HIDDEN on your computer while doing hell knows what they are beginning to screw with the gamming world.

"A PATENT may allow Sony to ensure that no game would be playable from any console other than the one in which it was first read."

So what does this do if you dont want to spend 50$/60$ on a new game, or to ppl who wanna pop by a friends house to have some good multiplayer fun?

"However, Sony would apparently prefer that all of you out there who have gone through any form of bankruptcy didn't listen to their music."

This... I really cant even comment on.

And finally:

"...Sony BMG's content protection, which only requires that the hacker add the prefix "$sys$" to file names."

What hacker isnt going to take advantage of that?

And they call pirates a drain on society....

Pirates say what?

2005-11-03T17:27:00.000-05:00

For all of us that would like to retain the rights to things we have PAID for: http://www.theinquirer.net/?article=27426

Too laZy to read?

Quick summary:

Next time you go out to buy a CD, think twice about installing it onto your computer... you are most likely (and definatly if you are buying a Sony CD) putting malware onto your computer that will cause it to BREAK if you try to remove it. That is, if you even realiZe youve put it onto your computer.

"If you look at the Sony rootkit, it does several things. It strips you of your rights, it potentially causes your computer harm, it breaks your computer if you remove it, and eats your CPU time. All of these things are bad, no question there. It also does the end user no good in any way, shape or form, not even by the most demented stretch of the imagination. It only hurts those who spent money to buy it. "

"Say you want to remove the Sony stuff. According to no less a source than The Washington Post, the bare minimum you have to do to remove the rootkitted DRM infection is give up your privacy. If you go to the Sony page, here, you have to give Sony your email at the very least, and according to the WP story, Sony then grills you about your reasons for not liking being rootkitted. "

"If you try to remove it yourself, you risk breaking your optical discs, or it kills them for you. Mark from Sysinternals is more than smart enough to figure out how to fix this, but are you? Off the top of your head, how do you do that again, no looking it up? To make matters worse, it installs itself so it runs in safe mode, and if it conflicts with something, you are really hosed. Sony's response? "This component is not malicious and does not compromise security. There are already exploits out there that take advantage of this."

If you are further interested you might wanna check this article out as well:
http://www.sysinternals.com/blog/2005/10/sony-rootkits-and-digital-rights.html

and also:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/11/03/sony_rootkit_drm/

2005-11-01T19:30:00.000-05:00

Lava Lamp Nose!

Car Alarm

2005-10-26T22:16:00.000-04:00

o_O why am I alwayZ EVIL!?@

Handle ID: Fracking Awesome

2005-10-22T02:34:00.000-04:00

Ok, I will ellaborate on the issue further at a more repectable time tommorrow, but for now....

DOOM KICKED ASS!

Ok, so Doom was great. However, if you did not enjoy Resident Evil then you most likely will not get a hard on over Doom.

The plot didn't follow the game eXactly (then again vid game to movie releases never really do), but twas a lot more Zombie in eXecution.

Ppl were bitten... ppl changed into ickieZ... ickieZ bit more ppl. ^_^

Some of the lines were a tad forced--but in such a manner as to be eXtrodinarily amuZing. Mwahaha they alwayZ film the Rock from this one angle. Im not sure if that was on purpose or not but it provides for entertainment value.

And lastly: The First Person Shooter View. Contrary to popular belief, this was only done in a small portion of the movie and the theme was NOT carried throughout.

It was sort of like taking one of those coster rides at an amuZment park. You know the oneZ that dont go anywhere but the seatZ move and provide a FPV on a huge screen? Twas actually pretty neat. Although, hard core gamers may be annoyed at how slow the view rounds corners and such.

Anyway, Im so buying this when it comeZ out.

-Ende ^_^

Back ScratchingZ

2005-10-13T11:20:00.000-04:00

Man, what a day Ive had so far o_O

I dyed my hair last night (so cute by the bye) and my phone startes ringing at 1230 while Im stepping out of the shower... I rushed out to answer the phone so it wouldnt wake Chiba... It was Mike and he was out in the parking lot and needed a place to stay... SooOoOo I told him to hang out at Nicks for a while (Nick was having a party and Mike wanted to get some sleep) while I got dressed and such.

So about 115 he comes over and we watch tv until 230 when he falls asleep. The orignial plan was to just go to BED (him on the futon and me in my own), but he was slightly drunk, me thinX. "Don't you want to hang out with me!" So we discussed ZombieZ, and watched comedy central until he passed out.

I got up at 730 to take chi to class come back home and lay back down (Mike still asleep on the futon and mumbling about me not touching him bwahaha). When I get back to the parking lot at the apt I see this car with "eat me, I love sex, cash for sex" written all ove the windows.... so I laugh and go back upstairs to my room.

The second my head hitZ the pillow my phone ringZ... it is Chibi and she didnt have class!! But she said it was pretty and she wanted to walk... so I tried to go back to bed. I wouldnt have had to got up until 1130 -__-

So I settle back into bed..... And then the bass started... -__- The idiotZ neXt door started up their fracking sucky music with the lamest bassline ever.

It kept getting louder and by the time chi got home I wanted to KILL someone.

So 930 I go over to the loud pplZ appt and bang on the door... and I hear them come to the door and jiggle the hande... but they must have seen the mussed, pink haired, angry chick out the peephole and thought better of it.

So I knocked again... and again and then I banged on the door until it should have fallen down (mwahaha) I hear a commotion inside and a door slam and then...

And this little meXican comes to the door... short lil guy... he looX totally afraid >^_^<>:D)

When I come back into the apartment I notice the trash is leaking.... so Chi and I bag it again, clean up the floor and take it out.

When we entered the apt again, Mike rolled over and starts grumbling about how much he just LOVED waking up to an angry stomping Ashley. He starts wanking about me waking him even tho he kept ME up all night.

So since everyone was up we all talked for a while and mike finally left 1030 or so to go to the girlZ apt beside us (her name is Jerika and she was drunk last night so he didnt want to stay with her).

THEN, Chiba began making beef stew and she managed to drop the spoon and splatter stew all over me, her, the rug, the floor, and the fridge.....

This day cannot get any better. :p

Women DriverZ

2005-09-30T08:37:00.000-04:00

Im sick ;_; And the pirate thing is this weekend.... and everyone should feel sorry for me.

Also, I feel the need to share:

I was driving Steph to class this morn, and while going up a one way road this chick turns down into it and startZ comming at me head on... she, of course, didnt know this because she hadnt bothered to defog her window... I had to beep at her to get the idiot to stop and back up.

Then, while waiting at a light, I watched another gal CRASH into the back of a parked, giant, yellow, flashing... school bus....

The fire truck came and two women began directing traffic... (ugh). They motioned on this huge mac truck... and then walked out in front of it...

And then a bit down the way another fireman was directing traffic.. INTO each other... the sun was blinding him and he couldnt see what he was doing >_<

Im just glad I made it home unscathed o_O

Also... how does one crash into a parked school bus?

No, these arent real

2005-09-29T16:37:00.000-04:00

This site has apparently been down since '02, but I insist that you all read through the archives. Especially us yankeeZ... seriously. So funny (and yet Im sure you will all learn a vaulable lesson about nationalism).

http://www.satirewire.com/news/feb02/warship.shtml

Read that for starters.

http://www.satirewire.com/news/jan02/geography.shtml

This is for all of us that cannot place Hungary on a map.

CUTE!

2005-09-28T18:46:00.000-04:00

www.f**kinggoogleit.com

2005-09-22T21:57:00.000-04:00

Go to google (www.google.com)

Type in the word "Failure" into the search boX.

Hit the button "I'm Feeling Lucky" right under the teXt boX.

Laugh.

Rinse.

Repeat.

Seductress?

2005-09-21T15:55:00.000-04:00

Meh, just for fun... this basically sayZ that Im really hyper and dont give a flip :p DUH

***Your Seduction Style: Au Natural***

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.
That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!
The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.

You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.
Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.
You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?

You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.
Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.
As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?
http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofseducerareyouquiz/

Via la pr0n

2005-09-20T18:05:00.000-04:00

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/09/19/AR2005091901570.html

Seriously... you have to read this.

The USA's top priority is no longer terrorism... it is pr0n!

-__- That's great.

Paper Vs. Humanity?

2005-09-08T12:56:00.000-04:00

I dunno who wrote this or who to give the credit to... but I could NOT stop lauging:

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no f'n way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole.

Mwahahaha so so great.

Scooty Puff Jr

2005-09-02T11:56:00.000-04:00

Ok, b4 I 4get.

Chi and I went to amtgard (http://amtgard.com:8080/) yesterday for the first time in about 6 months. Twas great to see everyone… and get molested by Jon… twice o_O.

We met up with a few buddies and then saw some other ppls we knew ^_^ Yay! Then we proceeded to go to Princeton and get some frozen cow juice inna cone… good stuff!.

Anyway, point of this… find where amtgard is played in your area and go watch o_O I'm so serious… you will never be so entertained.

Also… IM TWENTY THREE! ^_^ All bow b4 my might!

And if you draw…. I want penguinZ. ALL the penguins!

Evil Kitty

2005-08-13T02:17:00.000-04:00

http://www.fabrica.it/flipbook/flipbook_player.php?id=1123913467-68113133226

that was SO much work for so little time!

Fun tho ^_^

http://www.fabrica.it/flipbook/index.html

make your own and lemme see them

GeeX With LiveZ

2005-07-15T16:29:00.000-04:00

Ok, so as we all know Steve and Lando put out a podcast every monday (barring hurricaneZ). If you havent listened yet then I condem thee to a droll stupor... how are you gonna find out anything unless you listen!?

Anyway, this weeks show - which was put out a tad late due to unforseen windZ - was amaZing. Best one yet, in my ever so unhumble opinion. It was shorter than their previous showZ and more on the ball and up tempo in pace.

They covered a ton of info (from harry potter to bud light) and were pretty dang funny in the delivery. http://steveandlando.blogspot.com/

If you pride yourself in keeping up with techie newZ, then this is a great way to do it w/o having to spend precious chatting time surfing the net for obscure newZ releaseZ. Upload it to your ipod and enjoy while traveling... or sitting in a summer school class that you could care less about.

The guys have a forum you can post on about pretty much anything, and dont forget to vote for their podcast!

On a sort of off note, the Tallahassee Democrat did an article that included Steve and Lando's on the go web show... see, itZ that good.

A Duel

2005-07-12T22:22:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I am part of a writers community and another member and I took part in a duel.

The parameters were as followZ:

I propose a write off for the phate of our planet.

Whoever wins gains the right to try his – or her as the case may be – hand at world domination.

Two pages (at least, but try to stay under five) of _why_ we want to conquer this world.

• What devices would you use (ie for me it would be penguins)
• What your main reasons are for believing that the world would operate better under your guidance
• Would you use threats and force or guise and subterfuge, etc.

These questions _must_ be met within paper, however, feel free to babble at will about other things.

And my submission was also as followZ:

Our world. It is plagued by disease, famine, war, and – most destructive of all – Stupidity.

No man could rein the universe more effectively than the blatant idiocy that now rules over our society with an iron fist.

Since Adam and Eve inherited the earth, Stupidity has been lurking in the shadows waiting to pounce upon his chance to rule.

And it didn’t take long. (Apples are not that good!)

Thousands of years of lording its power over this planet and I say it is time for a change of leadership.

Me.

This world of spinning rims, blonde sex pots using their apartments as a brothel, and really horrible movies getting funding will be no more!

How would I take over this planet? Well, I would prefer if humanity handed it over to me along with a platter of pineapple as garnish, but somehow I do not foresee this happening. Instead – I imagine – I will be obliged to take the earth by force.

I will not use unsubstantiated threats, as these are easily seen through and give any would-be heroes time to group together and form the irrational and dangerous plans that are “so crazy it just might work,” that tend to overthrow evil regimes.

Nuclear bombs and Rocket Propelled Grenades seem to be all the fad in world domination these days, but I have opted for something more environmentally friendly (yes, I will be that kind of ruler) and less cost intensive.

Penguins!

Many of my future subjects may consider themselves to be immune to the fear of penguins (“Oh! They are so cute!”), but I will enlighten them. There are seventeen species of penguins – all carnivorous. The Macaroni boast 24 million members, the Chinstrap claim 14 million, and the Rockhopper have 8 million penguins at last count. In sheer numbers alone my penguins could wipe out humanity… and all for a few buckets of fish.

If a stunning array of black and white (hungry, meat eating,) soldiers quickly marching down on you does not strike fear into your heart, then maybe my generals will: the Emperor Penguin, who can weigh as much as a boy band member – of which there will be no more when I have control over the world.

Added to the fact that animal rights activists would most likely join my side upon realizing their ultimate dream has come true (a world overtaken by animals), there would be those who still – even while having their eyes pecked from their heads – would find it impossible to shoot such an adorable little creature.

As you can see, my massive army has the sheer numbers and bulk to stage a successful world coup against humans, so there should be no question as to my ability for domination.

But what of my plans when the world falls into my hands? Drastic change will be my theme as the people of this world – along with a bit of nudging from my penguin allies – help me in melting down all spinning rims for the raw material for the world first space cruiser. Members of college sororities and fraternities will be my test subjects for the first few launches of the world’s ship into space. I am hoping for at least a few explosions (‘twill help clean the gene pool of alcoholics).

The money for our space project will be pulled from movies that I deem unfit for viewing, such as “Meet the Fockers” or “Dodgeball”. These are a vapid waste of money which can be much better spent on a space exploration project that will extend my Empire to the stars.

Not only do I wish to extend my Empire to other galaxies, but I also want to search for a type of giant slug that I know must exist somewhere in this vast universe. The slug is about five feet long and man eating, but still sort of cute in the that “I am a slimy being” kind of way.

I plan to keep the slugs happy and in no way mistreated so that one day – if it ever comes to this – when the slugs accidentally escape from their confines, their first bit of business will not be to eat me in revenge for tearing them away from their homeland of Putrid 5. They will be fed daily and be allowed to gorge themselves on the delicacy known as all liars.

That’s right; all liars of my realm will be fed to giant man eating slugs for slow and painful ingestion. It will be televised to act as further deterrent.

Such lies as: “The walls of these apartments are perfectly sound-proofed and you will never hear the people above you,” will be punishable by devourment and a hearty and slightly maniacal laugh from me.

To make my penguin legion feel at home, even while they are not, I will have all armories turned into frozen penguin habitats. A law will be put into effect that will prohibit homelessness; therefore all homeless will be given the jobs of converting the armories into suitable habitats for my army. My workers will be fed well – probably fish of some sort – and housed in capital buildings around the globe for I will have no need of fat bureaucrats in my new society.

In fact, all old government workers of high ranking will be weeded out – with the most ambitious weasels being fed to my slugs – and the most eager to please being put in charge of a food program that will convert all Abercrombie & Fitch stores into edible matter – they are of no use to anyone left in their current form.

Speaking of clothing, because I am so fond of the stereotype that all futuristic societies will wear skin tight, silver synthetic (and because I am sick of seeing twelve year olds in bad Moulin Rouge knock offs) I think that will be the new uniform. Mine, of course, will have some sort of elaborate feather and leather decoration a la the evil queen in Red Sonya.

Anyone that does not have a pleasing aesthetic look in the skin tight suit will be put into an intensive program with controlled exercise and food intake, thereby securing – if the said participant does not die – that only healthy genes are passed on.

On the note of passing genes, I will not pull a Brave New World and control breeding in a sterile environment. However, you will be required to acquire a missive granting you the right to marry and procreate (WWII, anyone?). Any subject found with a particularly nasty disease will be attained for testing in one of my labs and either frozen until a cure can be found or ejected into space to test the actual effects of being ejected into space has upon a human.

Rap and Country music will be abolished as well as all singers under the age of twenty five. Rammstein will be attained for my own viewing pleasure and anyone that rolls into a supermarket or sits in traffic with their bass at a level that would kill squirrels will be immediately pounced upon by my legion and brought to me for torture.

Since the threat of torture and being a slugs lunch is not enough to deter some of the harder headed humans on the planet, I plan to keep humanity happy. Prostitution will be legalized, but heavily screened. It will only take place in certain zones of my new world and anyone caught deviating from the health codes and safe zones will become hard laborers in bringing the third world countries up to par. Las Vegas will become a reward for good behavior for my human generals, and all theme parks will be used as incentive for cooperation and hard work.

Along with happy subjects, I would like to rule over intelligent subjects. A world wide system of learning will be established to educate (and socialize) the masses. And in the spirit of my American heritage there will be only one religion: mine.

All drugs will be laced with arsenic so anyone stupid enough to ingest, smoke or otherwise put the crap into their bodies will be eliminated from my empire.

For fairness all unlawful acts will be posted across my new internet (free of pop up and credit card ads) and every man, woman, and child will be required to learn them from heart. This stops the lame and overused excuse of, “I just didn’t know.”

Overall I believe I will be a fair and just ruler, with only the occasional burst of Hitler-esque mania. My subjects will be treated fairly as long as they dwell within my laws and do not toe the edge of stupidity.

I like mine bloody

2005-06-25T22:05:00.000-04:00

Ok, so, of course, I went to see Land of the Dead, Friday.

And, of course, I was disappointed.

I wasn’t holding out much hope of it being a second Dawn of the Dead, because it was written and directed by Romero – the director of the original “Dead” series.

Night of the living Dead
Dawn of the Dead
Day of the Dead

A lot of people thought the new Dawn of the Dead was a remake of Romero’s Day of the Dead, but newp… remake of the same title.

Anyway, if it was the 70’s Land of the Dead would have ruled. It would have freaked and grossed us all out.

However, the 70’s are long gone, along with the slow moving, moaning, Zombies. The era of grossing the watcher out to disguise a crappy surface plot are long gone… and no one is mourning it.

I was very disappointed that he did not evolve the story much. And all attempts made to keep the movie up to date were blatant and cheesy.

Everyone was dressed in a mad maX-esque out fit and they all rode the bikes with the tattered flags. Ugh.

Also…. The Zombies thought. -__-

Now, this wouldn’t be so bad if the Zombies RAN after you, while thinking. But, alas, they slowly moaned and twitched their way miles after miles, picked up a gun or two, and figured out that water wouldn’t kill them.

They scares were cheap and seen coming miles away. The movie, like the old ones, relied heavily on gore… really bad gore, by the by.

Overall, the plot could have ruled my world, but it didn’t go into any amount of depth. The ZombieZ were antiquated and too ridiculous to be taken seriously (and yes, I take my ZombieZ seriously!), the acting was good, but predictable, and the ending made me want to hit the main character -__-

A hole in breast

2005-06-17T01:08:00.000-04:00

Ok, so today was a bit of a departure from my normal routine.

I woke up a bit later than usual because Chi and I didn’t make the gym this morning - she had a doc appointment at 9:15.

I stumble downstairs in a half sleepy stupor to get some breaky.

Mom calls and I'm on the phone with her when I hear this totally bizarre noise. It almost sounded like someone was banging on our patio window.

When I get off the phone to go check on the weird noises, I walk into the kitchen to find a large mass of kitty puke. -__- The odd noise was Tigger hacking up a lung.

Lovely.

Moving on, I make my egg for my breakfast of an egg sandwich. I'm moving a large bottle of mayo to the side in the fridge when it fallZ from my grasp and splatterZ on the floor showing glass and greasy mayo everywhere -_-

After cleaning that up, I struggle to get dressed on time for my appointment with the Dermatologist. I needed a biopsy x_X

I get to the doctors and wait for a bit b4 they take me back and put a few shots of numbing medicine into my right breast (yeah… ow). The Doc comes in and cuts a cookie cutter shape unto my chest and pullZ it up to nip off the bottom. She then proceeds to stitch me up… 3 of them were outside of the numbed area and I felt every nip and tuck of the needle -__-

So now I have a hole in my breast… and 6 stitches to worry about.

Being me, I wasn’t concerned and Chi and I went to work out… rushed home to meet Markie (been gone in Vietnam since August)

And thatZ about it.

The fact remainZ that I've cleaned up too many messes today and I have a hole in my right boob o_O

Field Vision

2005-06-14T16:15:00.000-04:00

Ok, for all those that know me the following statement will come as a shock:

I went to work at my father’s office today.

Yes… work… and no, I do not get paid for it so I can still claim that I have never worked (for pay) a day in my life. Volunteering does not count and is an entirely different blog post in itself.

To the point:

Field Vision Tests suck. I mean hard core, “I’ve been making pr0n movies since I was 12”, “the brass off a door knob”, “thru a straw”, SUCK.

The whole point of the test is to assess one’s vision. Central and Peripheral. Now, in order to do this painful eXerciZe in patience, one must sit still for 15 min increments and stare at a tiny… white… dot.

While staring at the boring, unmoving, uninteresting dot; one will see – or think they see – other white dots of higher or lower intensity blinking all around one’s head. When said other dots are seen, the patient cliX a button… thatZ right… like the most boring video game ever invented.

The test alone is torture, however, watching someone take the test is anguish, upon suffering and makes me beg, pray, and plead that the next patient will fall and break some vital bone that makes it impossible to take the damned test… like their thumb for instance. No thumb, no clicky clicky.

I have to make the patient sit still and watch the dot. If they move their eye to look at the other blinking dots I must berate them. If their head moveZ up or down in the contraption, I must adjust them via little swirly spinny wheels until their eye is again in the cross hair of the computer screen I am watching.

Most of the time I sit and wish for my own clicky button to press. Whenever the patient moveZ I can press my clicky and send 1000000 voltZ of pure electric pain shooting thru their body.

I'm pretty sure they wouldn’t fidget after that.

The fact that I have to monitor the patients eye status takes a lot of out my reading time - I read to pass the time... or else I would go insane and start throwing things. Not only am I sitting in a dark room with only the green light of the text on the screen to read by, but every few secondZ I must look up and make sure tweedle dee hasn’t slumped over or gone to sleep.

I hate when they go to sleep. It means I have to talk to them to keep them awake. Do you know how annoying it is making small talk with a perfect stranger when all they can do is mumble “yes” or “no”.

Talking means they must move their chin, which meanZ their eye moveZ.

That would really be great if I had my own electric clicky. I could trick them into talking – thus moving – and then have an eXcuse to Zap them.

Spoken NewZ

2005-06-13T13:59:00.000-04:00

Ok, so Stephen and Landon decided make a podcast.

I admit, I was skeptical.

Landon is not known for his participation in conversations, and Stephen is known for becoming so eXcited that his rate of speech reaches critical speed.

A normal conversation between them is as follows:

Stephen: “Hey did you hear about blahblahblah joining forceZ with blahblahblah. ItZ so eXciting!!”

Landon: “Oh, hey. No, I didn’t know that.”

Stephen: “Blahblahblah is going to totally blow away blahblahblah now!”

Landon: “Wow that is really awesome.”

I was pleasantly surprised, however, at the deviation from the normal. It starts out with much complaining about sore bums and crappy chairs flows into a nice jab at IE’s new “tabs” and follows with a tasteful joke about Michael Jackson’s Trojan virus.

For a full list of topiX discussed and to DL the podcast go here: http://fulltangninja.blogspot.com/

This is defiantly for all you tech junkies. Now go listen!

Carpenter AntZ

2005-06-11T23:12:00.000-04:00

I just spent an hour playing around with my blog template... I now see why ppl become addicted to screwing with HTML... fun stuff o_O

I realiZed - a bit belatedly - that the death, although uber cute, was horribly hard to read. So... for the three of you that read my ramblings... tada ^_^

Chi and I are home alone tonight. We made tofu and seaweed for dinner.

Don't laugh. Tofu and seaweed are perfectly respectable dinner foods.

Some ppl decide to fry the leg of a chicken in more heart clogging fat than is contained in one state, some ppl grab fast food and a handfull of MnM's... I eat soybean curd and sea plants.

That being said, I shall retire downstairs to veg out on the couch and watch tv with Chibi untill I cant see straight. ^_^

3LB Weight

2005-06-08T00:39:00.000-04:00

Ok, having a PT and going to set classes at a gym throughout the week is hell. Im not talking metophorically either... I mean literal hell... your muscleZ are BURNING the entire time and as much as you wish for death... it never comes.

I thought I had uber leg muscleZ untill I spent an hour with Kevin. He taught me that I had jack shyte and then proceeded to make me want to kick him in the face as he screamed over the music "Come ON! Two more minZ on that stair climber!"

While heZ yelling this he upZ the level to 13 and politely ignores the fact that I am shaking more than a 3 year old child that has entered seiZure status after watching a flashing light filled anime.

On the up side... I get to take his class again on thurZday -_-

Claws of Justice

2005-05-12T21:42:00.000-04:00

What Tim Burton Character are You?

Catwoman

You have no idea how happy this made me.

I was talking to a buddy last night about supervillans and which one's we thought were the most super villan-ie.

Kitty is so my fav... and not because she's in vinyl and carries a whip. Not even because she licks herself. I like her because I am her. I meow at ppl, I growl at ppl, I even tend to lick ppl. I seek revenge when deserved - which in my case is if anyone angers me. Angering me is very, very stupidly easy. I think, in general, that ppl are morons. Especially in this wonderful - no sarcasm - country.

We are the only place that thinks it is a good idea to give a hormonal CHILD keys to a two ton battering ram on wheels complete with a radio.

Why not give them a point system while we are at it?

10 pts for pets and regular pedestrians.
15 for wild animals and Blondes in short skirts
Bonus points for the elderly and infirmed.
Bronze trophy for mothers.
Silver trophy for their child.
Gold trophy for the mother and the child.

College age is the worst.

I don't know how it became a cool factor to roll into a parking lot at full throttle with windows down - no matter what time of year - and radio jacked up so loud that anyone in the vicinity with a pacemaker blows up.

And rims?

If I see a car with spinning rims I assume the tires and therefore the vehicle itself is moving. That is only logical, right? Well, when I see a parked car with spinning rims, I automatically piss my pants because I cannot figure out if they are pulling out in front of me, running a red light, or if their bolts came loose in their tires.

Barring all that, most college aged drivers are getting dressed in their cars while rushing to the campus to get to class on time. Ive seen girls brutally stab themselves in the eye because they think they can maneuver a large tank and make their eyelashes look plump and separated all in the same timeframe.

That is what catwoman should really do: Hunt down teenaged drivers. Granted I think some of the college aged males might think that incentive to buy the biggest spinning chrome rims they can find.

Because Shine Did

2005-05-05T18:23:00.000-04:00

Your element is Fire.

Like fire, you have a hot temper and you can be warm and loving as well and angry and wild. It all really comes down to what you are feeling. You have a lot of close friends who you are very protective over, and with your temper probably some enemies too. You are not Miss Popular in school since you are your own person and don't want to be forced into behaving this or that way. You are the untamed wild horse, the kind that everyone wants to catch. But you don't want to be tied down for the moment and just keep going with your little crushes. Your will is strong and if you set your mind to do something, you will most likely succeed. But beware, your friends may not always accept your mood-swinging behaviour. Even if you don't mean to be mean, they can still feel hurt. You just need to start thinking some things through before you do them, and not always jump in with so much courage. One day you may be hurt because of that, but then again, your element isn't fire if you start to analyse situations before you act. After all, your nature is to shoot first and ask the questions later.

My eXcuse

2005-05-05T02:29:00.000-04:00

You are a maniac killer.

It doesn't matter who they are and what they have or haven't done. You still want to kill them. And for a simple reason only; it's fun. Seeing people in pain is like ecstasy. Maybe you have some sort of mental problems or you are this way because of previous deep scars, only you know. But now you are sadistic and maybe you only like to see a special group of people be in pain (e.g. preps). However you are not the most social person in the bunch and people think you are weird. That bothers you somewhat but atleast you can entertain yourself with daydreaming about killing them. After all, they have no idea what's coming.

Main weapon: Explosives and torture equpiment

Quote: "Insanity: a perfect rational adjustment to an insane world" - R.D. Lang Facial

Expression: Wicked smile

At least I can plead this to the jury one day?

http://quizilla.com/users/PainfulBliss/quizzes/What%20Type%20of%20Killer%20Are%20You?

Depressed Robots

2005-04-30T01:54:00.000-04:00

ShineZ Bday was today... and in all the hustle and bustle to decorate - Pirate Theme - for it and wrap gifts, etc... I 4got to wish him happy Birthday x_X

So Shine... when you read this... HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU HOOPY FROOD!

We went to see Hitchhikers Guide to the GalaXy.

Funniest movie I have seen in a long time! There werent any parts that I didnt like o_O. You know how in all movies there is just that ONE scene that you really hate, and every time you watch the movie again you hate that ONE scene even more? Well, not in this movie. I am happy to report this movie is free of that ONE scene.

After Landon decided to play volleyball with Cole's head we all went to the Pancake House and made foolZ of ourselveZ. We missed you Patty!

I ended up flipping Ice at the table of ppl behind us -__- Damn slippery, those buggerZ.

Now I am tired and wish to retire to the soft squishy of my bed!

So long, and thanks for all the fish!

ArrowZ and Mosh PitZ

2005-04-28T17:16:00.000-04:00

http://thehint.com/index2.html

We watched them along with 5 or 6 other bands play last night. Twas the best time ^_^ The Hint was by far the best band there... they are based outta DC and some of the nicest guys! I played fan gal and got autographs and shirts and such :P

Mike's band, Every Other Sunday (EOT) played as well... they were all a bit on the drunk side and the lead singer popped a string while strumming along. http://www.purevolume.com/everyothertuesday/contact

We went to school with Mike (guy on the far left who looks rather pissed at life). HeZZa great guy... very caught up in the whole rocker lifestyle tho o_O... He spit a gatorade wrapper at my head -__- Ahhh memories :p

The last band we saw play (and equally as wonderful ppl) were The Varsity - I proudly wear their shirt atm. http://www.thevarsityrock.com/

Chi and I shot arrows at ppl... granted they were padded with foam, but hey... twas still fun times!

We ate turtles and bounced along to the music that was so loud it fried every one of my little inner ear hairs. We talked with friends whom we hadnt seen since around october. We licked each other, we kicked each other, we stepped on each others feet. We played the fan and took pictured with the band. We made new friends from far off places and we bounced our heads until our necks ached.

We had fun and made memories... and stole a LOT of bandwith.

SheZ in love with herself....

2005-04-25T01:12:00.000-04:00

ENTP - The Inventor
You scored 63% I to E, 42% N to S, 52% F to T, and 68% J to P!

The single word that describes your type is "inventor", and you belong to the larger group called rationals. You love to tinker with things and come up with new ideas. You are outgoing and curious with an insatiable appetite for knowledge. You have no real desire to lead, only doing so if there is no other way. 2% of the population share your personality type.

You are a flirtateous and energetic romantic partner, fun and engaging, always looking for something unusual to try. In your enthusiam, you may make promises you can't keep. Your competitive nature and need to be perceived as an expert can be daunting to a romantic partner at times. You so enjoy the tug of a good debate that sometimes you act as if you don't take anything seriously. You are usually very supportive and helpful to your mate, but somewhat scattered and unable to devote your full attention there. You feel most appreciated for your great ideas, unusual perceptiveness, and ability to understand and communicate with people. You feel most appreciated when your partner understands your need for lots of social contact and your need to live life as spontaneously as possible.

Your group summary: rationals (NT)
Your type summary: ENTP

You scored higher than 72% on I to E
You scored higher than 51% on N to S
You scored higher than 53% on F to T
You scored higher than 76% on J to P

The Scientific Personality Test

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=16567335035599898597

Zombie WarZ

2005-04-24T23:10:00.000-04:00

The Bringer of Shine has arrived as of Saturday the 23rd! However, I am considering changing his name....

Stephen, my little sister's boyfriend, and an all around wonderful person was dubbed "The Bringer of Shine" by witnesses. Witness of what, you ask?

Mario Sunshine...

Dude, can that kid - 20 year old kid, but still kid to me - bring in the shineZ (stars in every other mario rendition)! Its amaZing and unnerving all at once... no one should be that good at platformers o_O

Anyway, he arrives saturday and what does he bring? Two days of shyte weather and a lot of friggen snow. Bringer of Shine, my ass.

We played around Charleston a bit and of course made the obligatory stop at Books a Million - better known as my second home. I bought the book "Me Talk Pretty One Day" by David Sedaris.

Go out and get it... now... immediatly! Any fan of Bill Byrson (please don't embarrass yourself by claiming not to be) will be totally in love with Sedaris.

His writing style is uber witty sarcasm a la Bryson, although more gutter trash. It is a compilation of happenings throughout Sedaris' life, and he manages to turn mundan visits to the Speech Therapist into a analysis of gay men and their lisping beginings.

Good stuff, I say... go read :p

Of course we stopped in HT and of course I bought a shirt. It has Umbrealla Coproration written across the chest with the logo following.

Im not sure why I love RE so much... I cant play the games... they are freaking scary and I suck at the controlls. Meh, the real reason is I have the patience of a bit of lychen gathered on a stump... and the load screens for each room are rediculous. Granted the newer games are better, but holy shyte o_O. It still amaZeZ me that the game manage to be scary with a four hour loading screen. That is the mark of greatness, when you can still make ppl piss themselves after giving them 30 minZ to prepare for what's on the other side of the door.

I love the 1st movie... granted it had nothing to do with the RE games as far as "Alice" went. But, dude, it was just freaking wonderful and it had Milla Jovovitch in it! The second one made me want to cry a little... the end fight sceen with Nemisis? : / Ugh. They need to fire (and I mean litterally torch) the guy who budgeted the funds for the movie.

Zombie movies. Seriously... greatest genre ever. Dawn of the Dead is my fav, I think... haven't seen the old one in 4ever, so I speak of the new version. I really cant think of anyone who hasnt been doing something really boring - school, business meeting, sex with a particularly mormon spouse - and just suddenly thought to themselves:

"I wonder if I would make it in a Zombie apocolypse?"

I would. Hell yes, I would.

Whenever I go with my daddy to the gun range... I envision shooting Zombies. And not those pansy "Ahhhrrrrrrrrr, half my leg is missing, but Im still gonna drag it after you so I can feast upon your brrrraaaaaaiiiiiin" Zombies. I mean the dead pan, full out run, "Come'er motha flunker so I can rip out your insides and suck on the tubing!" Zombies.

We have an arsonal at home... in fact if the house ever caught fire... it would take out four city blocks.

I wouldnt stay at my house tho... too many windows for angry, hungry Zombies to burst through. Im thinking I would take all four vehicles - assuming the other 3 members of my family made it in the inital blast/virus outbreak that started the Zombie plauge - and load them down with guns, ammo, and a few other non infected and drive to the armory here. With a few stops for crashing the cars into little general stores and loading up on food and water.

And none of that, "Eh, you only have a little scratch from the ZombieZ, and you are my friend so you can still come with me" crap. If a Zombie even looks at you, Im leaven your ass. Friend or not.

Also, if you havent seen "Shawn of the Dead" then you are destined to be alone and should commence suicide immediatly. Seriously, though, the movie is maddeningly hilarious.

As an avid Zombie fan, I initially thought it blasphemous for them to make Shawn of the Dead. But... after being assured it was safe to watch w/o burning in Zombie hell... I gave in. It is scary... and funny... and so disgustingly gorey. And the fact that all the characters were british made it all the more brilliant.

Sometimes in Zombie movies the heroine/hero is abnormally gorgeous, well allotted in life, and all in all not your average Joe. Shawn is about as average as any middle aged, going no where, dead end job, semi serious gf having man can be. And the fact that he was somewhat lacking in mental capacity helped usher in the "regular guy" so much better.

Moral? Load up on your water in case of Zombie attack, never trust your friends to bring you good weather, and buy as much Hello Kitty as you can.

Also... youll just have to get over the spelling errors... unless youd like to be my editor... I really need one.

Don't eat that - it fell on tiggerZ foot

2005-04-11T13:18:00.000-04:00

So, being the wonderfully nice person I am I volunteered this weekend.

The biggest gathering of social workers in the US is at the Civic Center this week, and in order to get ready Wv's social work chapter had to stuff over 234897234987239847 packetZ (folderZ) and ready nametagZ etc.

Since mom was volunteering, I said I would help.

It wouldnt have been bad at all had MOBY freaken DICK and her side kick Jonah the Whale wouldnt have been there...

She was huge... Im talking black hole huge.

She was GROSS... "I have the runs," she proudly informed everyone in the room.

And not to propagate the whole fat = laZy... but she WAS! Omg, my 55 year old mother did 5 timeZ more than that laZy waste of air did o_O

The Cherry on top?

She turned her fat greasy head in my direction and happily informZ both my mother and I that she dateZ girlZ.... and then she proceeded to ask me if I was gay... x_X

If I ever had one gay thought my entire life... it evaporated at that moment.

UGH!

Absolutely disgusting and laZy a total waste of FOOD.

Ethiopia would eat for a month if we slaughtered her.

ThatZ some hot weenieZ

2005-04-11T12:58:00.000-04:00

Well, my future as an FBI agent is shot... literally.

Dad and I went shooting tuesday in Va and we did pretty well. Granted the mag on my glock (all three of them) are a pain in the arse to load... the springZ are a bit tight, me thinX.

Anyway, daddyZ office alarm went off wednesday night and the police sent out a car and a few dogZ to check the place out. A man had been stabbed and robbed around the neighborhood a while back andthe police werent taking any chanceZ with another robbery.

ThurZday rollZ around (daddyZ half day). Dad callZ at 4pm and sayZ that he will be home inna bit, heZ just gonna go check the basement really fast.

630pm, momZ in class and Steph and I are still waiting on dad. We get a tad worried that maybe heZ had something topple over on him, or heZ hurt his back and cant drive home.

We call the office - no answer... we call his tahoe onstar - no answer.

I was getting dressed so we could go check the office out and Chi hollerZ from downstairZ. SayZ we need to go now.

She was on the verge of tearZ and it showed in her voice... so of course I panick... WHY is my little sister about to cry?

I ask her just that and she replieZ that she had called the tahoe again and someone had picked up after one ring and then hung up right after.

Of course... we think... someone has hurt dad and taken his vehicle.

I toss on my clotheZ and silently vow to hunt down, torture and brutally murder whoever has touched my father. Thinking along this line I grab my glock and throw 8 roundZ into the mag in the blink of an eye... In the recesseZ of my mind I thought it odd that I could shove the roundZ in so easily when just two dayZ ago it took forever to load.

I ran down the stairZ and called the tahoe to hear for myself... sure enough someone picked up and then hung up after a ring.

I called 911 and asked they dispatch a car out to my dadZ office to see if his car is there (they could get there faster than we could).

About 11 seX after the call the tahoe pullZ into the driveway....

it was dad.......

he was fine......

said the tahoe phone never rang.........

couldnt hear the office phone cuZ he was in the basement........

LOADING SHELLS!@?#

I had to call 911 back and tell them I was an idiot and I was about to kill my father and asked if theyd send an ambulance to my residence.

Moral: Call your damn family if something changeZ

@ MoTown

2005-04-04T22:49:00.000-04:00

Erm.... I apparently have no idea how to edit my PROFILE picture... that is where this was meant to go... ahem -__-
At Motown

WeebleZ Wobble

2005-04-04T09:28:00.000-04:00

Random update:

Sin City was mega violent, but it was pretty good. A lot of canibaliZm o_O The way it was filmed made up for the psychotic script, tho... fun colorZ and fun ppl (yay for BDSM!).

Devil May Cry is flipping hard (yes, Chris... HARD). The 1st boss must have really enjoyed arse raping Dante... cuZ he did it... a lot. >_<>:D Mwahahah the POWER of a mage! Really freaken suX that if you choose to be a magus, however, that you age more quickly than normal... homoerotic much? Screw Full Metal Alchemist's "equivalent eXchange"! I want power damn it... and I wanna look hot while I have it. And whatZ with the censored seX? I want full on piXelated nudity!

Diablo II... 1st a warning: Know the diff between a Battle CHEST and Battle CHESS. (GrrrRRr!) The game is fun fun for the lil n00b that I am. Almost done with it, tho.. and Im only level 18 o_O Been playing with Chris and Mark and they take most of the heat off me while I stand back and blast baddieZ with my fire ballZ ^_^ Yay for magick! Boo for dying and having Chris and Mark swarm my corpse and stealing my MONEY! BastardZ >;p

Off the topic of gameZ... the Pope died (no, really? Yes, really). After reading Dan Brown booX I am really eXcited to watch the neXt Pope being choZen... the whole process fascinateZ me now. Man, Dan Brown.... if you can read, at all (Sorry, Corvie) then ruuunnnn to a book store and proceed to buy ALL of his booX. Also, while you are reading... keep in mind they are fiction -__- So sick of hearing ppl say "Gee, I wonder where the Holy Blood Line is being hidden!" Yes there was a PS... in like the 1600's, and it only lasted for a lil while b4 the catholic church booted them out in favor of another group of monks. Now, the PS is again in eXsistance... but it is a NEW addition. History lesson for today.

FuZZFace got into college... was there ever a doubt? http://www.livejournal.com/users/cmdrwalt/

Alrighty, thatZ it me thinX... this whole time springing forward thing is getting to me. Who the hell decided to play mother nature and deem it "daylight savingZ"? They need to die... I know that much.

Meh.

Again with the craZy

2005-02-26T16:44:00.000-05:00

Take Free Personality Disorder Test

Eh, broken html... basically said I was uber antisocial (which I now know meanZ I could give a shyte about anyone elseZ feelingZ..o_O), paranoid and attention seeking.

But you already knew that, didnt you?

I have sinned

2005-02-10T19:10:00.000-05:00

http://www.lokitorrent.com/

I've been robbing thousands of hard-working, honest ppl. How could I have known?

That is so much bullshyte -__-

The only one robbing anyone is the MPAA with their oppressive monopoly on all things Hollywood. When they stop charging 20.00$ plus for a freaking CD with three good tracks and 30$ for DVD's that cost them all of a nickel to make... then maybe ppl will stop "stealing from the pockets of the poor".

Any good band that actually gives a flip about music and not installing a jaccuZZi in the back of their SUV encourages ppl to DL... it gets the music out there and ppl start buying to support the band... not their lifestyle.

Now remember, scouts... Pirating leaves a trail!

Happy Downloading!

Angry? Not me.

2005-02-03T16:16:00.000-05:00

http://www.liquidgeneration.com/quiz/images/punisher.jpg

http://www.liquidgeneration.com/quiz/images/elektra.jpg

Ad Aware

2005-01-28T09:05:00.000-05:00

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=317&item=5951626613&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW

This bringZ new meaning to selling your body....

BoXing Day and itZ Bloody Aftermath

2004-12-26T11:59:00.000-05:00

BoXing day ^_^

Christmas was an utter pleasure. (Read: My two half brothers did not show up. Which means I didn't have to shoot anyone, which means I am at home and not in jail for murder/kidnapping.)

I got a lil 4th gen iPod! Scooooooooooooooooore >^_^^_^< mer mer

Lando got me an XboX o_O! Poor guy, I've been playing the game he got me (MK Deception) since I opened the boX and totally 4got ppl eXsisted. The game is so freaken wonderful!!

The Konquest mode has been improved SO much since Alliance. You can actually run around and talk to ppl pseudo RPG. They even give you tasks ^_^ All this while trying to train with your drunken master!

I havent gotten tooooooo far, but as of now Ive just been bestowed a gift by the elder gods and it looX like I will be leaving the realative safety of the city gates shortly. (side note: keep the action button and the punch button seperate -__- Poor old woman... I just wanted to say hi : /)

Freaking Awesome.

The Bringer of Shine also sent me a wonder ^_^ Iii got leather bound PAPER! *shiftZ into wicket mode* Ahhhh, the joyZ of my collection of notebooX :P

I also got a ton of booX to finish out some of the series Ive been reading *meltZ into an ooZe of happiness* God Bless Tracy Hickman and Margeret Weis!

Chi is leaving me tomorrow : / She will fly to see the shine (without ME!) on mon : (

No New YearZ with Chi! *sniffZ*

Anyway... I am gonna go play some more deception and pretend Im getting ready ^_~

Christmas Play of Shame

2004-12-18T14:18:00.000-05:00

Mwahahahahahahahahahaha.

GBCS's Christmas play is always a point of discussion among ppl; mostly because it always sucks. Normally ppl show up to bond with their friends still imprisioned within the every crumbling walls of the HS... at least Ive never gone to be entertained by the acctual play.

Oh man, but this year was especially shyttie! It was directed by a gal in my graduating class (and word is she isnt allowed within 500 feet of neXt yearZ play) that obviously did not go to college for the fine arts.

More often then not the older kids have the starring roles in the Christmas play because it is meant to relay a message, however, this year it was "performed" by the 6th graders. It was like being drunk and trying to follow a math class o_O. Nothing made sense, nothing fit, nothing flowed... it flopped big time. (Which made me a lil giddy because I'm not to fond of the gal in charge.)

Anyway, I still hadda blast! I got to see Chris! My dear Buddy from HS! Ahhhh, the memorieZ ^___^ And the BowerZeZ and all the other lil urchinZ that used to be knee high but now tower over me. I dunno why, but I go back to that place and I regress... the word "peepee" makes me laugh there. Like I need any of my maturity stolen from me -_-

Ummm, rest of the night we just hung out (We missed the SHINE! and the MIERC!)

Also... I walked wednesday... I am now (thanX lan) OFFFFFFIIICCIIIAALLLYYYYYY a college grad ^_^ Score one for Ashy! Now I just need to finish my book and start grad school neXt fall and Im all set -_-

Tired Tiger DoZing Dragon

2004-12-02T04:48:00.000-05:00

It is 3:54 am... and I am tired and I want to go to sleep. However, since this seems to be alluding me at the moment I will bitch.

Last night I got about an hour of sleep b4 Chibi came and announced in her annoyingly chipper morning voice that it was time to take her to class. Now, you can only imagine the sheer joy I felt as I climbed out of my warm bed from an hours slumber and walked out into the frigid morning wind. It was like nature was flipping me off.

I proceeded to brave natureZ "f#$k you" and drove my little sister to her college class and somehow managed to get back to the apartment in one piece... I dont entirely remember the drive. Granted it is only 3 minZ one way.

Now... you may be wondering why I wake at 830am and drive my 18 year old sister to college. It isnt because we dont have another vehicle... it isnt because the walk is bad (about 15 min on a straight road). It is because I am a dumbass and I love my sister. -__-

Anyway, when I got home I went and laid back down in my nice coZey nest. Surely I will be able to drift into the sweet solace of sleep now that I had spent a restless night tossing and turning! Not a freaking chance in hell. I laid in bed cursing humanity untill about noon when I had to go back to the campus and pick little Chibi back up.

At this point I feel I need to share with you the fact that DCI - the management for the apartment I live in - is down right rain man retarded. (Screw anyone who is wanking about me being PC right now). DCI just now, after FOUR monthZ, realiZed that... OOPZ! We dont have their lease! I have been carrying the folder with me since we moved in to the apartment (which was NOT cleaned I might add).

So I spent the time from noon on (the time the lady was meant to show her ugly face) waiting for a knock at the door. Alas 4pm rolled around and I went back to the damned campus to pick Chi up for the last time and no DCI woman.

Of course when I decided it was safe to say the idiot was not going to show and I jumped into the shower... there was a knock on the door! Surprise!

My sister graciously talked to the lady. And when I say graciously.... The woman had the yellowed teeth and grating voice of a chronic smoker, the overly loud voice of someone who has never been laid, and the ruddy compleXtion of a bastard. I.... I dont even have the words to eXplain how much I wanted to drop kick her obnoxious ass. Just take the damn folder and LEAVE!

The rest of the day was to droll to meantion. I laid down at 930pm, finally succumbing to blessed sleep!

And then........ my (insert myriad of cursing here) cell phone rang. It was my bf.

Was something wrong? Someone hurt? Surely this had to be catastrophic!

It had to have been because he knew I slept on lightly and I was starting to get sick.

But, of course, it was no such thing. No hurricane, no flood, no psycho demon come to take his soul.

Only this: He wanted to tell me he was going to bed.

At 1230am he called to tell me he was going to bed..............................

I hate everyone.

If I had the power to make the world emplode... you would NOT be reading this!

If I had the command over the worlds aviary life... your eyeZ would be being pecked from their socketZ!

If I could summone gnomeZ to crawl up your ass and eat you from the inside... consider yourself lunch.

Now, as it is 422am and I have only half the battery left on my laptop I will attempt to rest.

The Awesome Loss of Sanity

2004-11-18T23:17:00.000-05:00

Dude and dudetteZ... If you have not already (which may well be the case considering the date released) run out immediatly and buy, rent, or steal "Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem".

The game was a platform release for el cube, but nevertheless has nice graphiX and a wicked plot. Think Silent Hill, Resident Evil, and Prince of Persia put in a blender and smoothie-fied.

You play thru the ages as different characterZ while the granddaughter of a twisted man readZ something akin to a necronomican.

It isnt totally horrifying like SH or RE, however if you run low on "sanity" your tv screen will go blank, it will be at an odd angle and you will have a myriad of fun and psychotic "delusions". The delusionZ include (but are not limited to) moving statueZ, bleeding paintingZ, and doorZ being pounded upon.

Try making your way thru a gauntlet (chock full of slamming wallZ, blow dartZ and chopping kniveZ) with the screen sidewayZ...

The best part is playing it with your buddieZ ...

"Did you see that!? I swear something moved!?"

"Dude, you are loZing your mind... nothing moved."

"Man, Im telling you.. the wallZ are bleeding!"

"Shut up! Nothing is wrong!"

Mwahahahaha seriously the best game Ive seen in a while...

Altho, if you have a bf/gf... sleep with them the night after you play

If not... then go rent paper mario >:D

I cant get away from little girls!

2004-10-07T00:44:00.000-04:00

Hmm, apparently I’m to be engaged to Landon, and my sister Stephanie is engaged to Stephen and we are going to have a joint wedding… Ok, first of all... who in the bloody HELL has a double wedding? Only Greater Beckley idiots could come up with something that absurdly gay. Second of all, a few choice ingrates need to learn the art of growing up. Graduating from high school hell apparently did not rid them of their annoying rumor spreading habits. Tip of the Day Kiddies: when you are known all through high school as annoying gossipy brats, and graduate as gossipy brats… get a new flipping hobby!

Seriously ppl... >_< You know who you are -__-

Following Orders

2004-09-15T01:10:00.000-04:00

I was told to update my blog...

Saw RE... orgasmic (save for one scene... DAMN DIRECTOR!!!)

Went to Charleston... got hello kitty stuff ^__^ and the best dag on frappe EVER.... mmmm sugary goodness.

Cant wait for halloween..... party party parrrrrrty :-D mer mer mer

Ummm, going to bed soon

Tada!

now you know my inner thoughts....

I want bootZ

2004-09-06T01:52:00.000-04:00

http://www.goodgoth.com

Merrrrrrrrrrr >^_^< I want all the bootZ!!

I broke my freaken fingerZ on my left hand and I cant type ;_;

The End.